He’s not crying, not withdrawn in bed all day. He’s going to work, paying bills, showing up for his family. But underneath, something is very wrong. Depression in men rarely looks like the sadness most people expect — which is exactly why it goes unrecognized so often, and why men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women.

In this video, Rey NP, a dual-certified nurse practitioner, breaks down what depression actually looks like in men — irritability, overworking, physical symptoms without a clear cause, escapism, and emotional flatness rather than tears — and walks through six evidence-based steps to start shifting course: naming it honestly, consistent exercise, sleep, nutrition, breaking isolation, and talking to a professional. He also covers how to check in on the men in your life who may be struggling silently.

If you recognized yourself in even a few of these signs, this is worth taking seriously — and worth talking to someone about.